To heck and back?

It is hard to believe that it was over a year ago that Sam and Abby arrived in our home. The road has been hard, very hard. We have suffered with these two children as we never could have imagined. Our family has suffered, our children have suffered, and physically, mentally, and spiritually we have been through the ringer.

Sam is doing well, he is happy and well adjusted. He has times of great sorrow and sadness over his losses but nothing that love, compassion, structure, and prayer can not help. Abby's struggles are much deeper and darker. Her anger is clear to everyone in our home. A year after her being here she is often on "line-of-side" which means that she is hitting, pinching, pushing, stealing, and or lying every time she is out of our site. She has almost every symptom of Reactive Attachment Disorder we have done therapy, family therapy, individual therapy, medication and therapy. Love, prayer, discipline, more love, and more prayer but to little avail.

We sent in an application for the Ranch for Kids last week. It is in Montana and takes internationally adopted kids, they try to help them work through some of their baggage with the hope that they will be able to come back to their families. The question now is do we really send her? Last week I would have said "yes, we are on our way" but last Tuesday she told Rob that she had accepted Jesus Christ into her life and ask Him to give her "a new heart". I have to tell you all that I have been extremely skeptical, she is a master at manipulation and having played the game with her for more than a year now trust dose not come quickly.

She has at this point not physically or verbally assaulted anyone in our home for almost 1 week! The longest she has gone is 2 days and that was only once. She is still not getting much as far a privileges go, as I said we have played this game to many times. But I wonder, it is true? Has God finally gotten a hold of this angry little girl, will she be willing to change? Currently I have to deal with the fact that this might be true. It seems odd but having watch her hurt and attack everyone in the house for a year now the truth is I just want her out. Now I have to put that back into God's hands and say "your will be done Lord not mine". So I wait, I wait with hope yet again, my heart dares once more to believe that there is a purpose in the pain. The sacrifices will be worth it in the end for now that is all I can do.