Good Stuff

The good stuff; Sam's all out laughter at the smallest of things. Abby's love of every thing she comes in contact with (with the exception of food:) Praying together, growing together, learning together. Celebrating a new life and a new family unit.

Abby started going to school on Tuesday, we went for math, Wednesday she went for math and lunch with Dad! Today we are going to leave Abby in the class room, it is a big step. I think Sam and I will go all the way down the hall to the library! Sam met his teacher after school on Tuesday, he will start going to school for an hour or so on Monday. They are both anxious to get going. The teachers and kids have been wonderful every time we have gone to lunch or visited the school they have been so friendly and kind.

They are also excited about learning to ride a bike. We have two trundles (they hook on to a regular bike and have the back wheel, pedals, and bike handles) so Rob hooked those up out of sheer insantity last night. It was very lightly snowing by the time we got tires aired up and everyone ready to go. We rode for around 15 minutes (the trundles are great for helping with the idea of balance) by the time we got home it was really coming down. We have about 5 inches out there this morning. Normally I would not go biking in snow no matter how hard the kids begged, most of the kids went though, only the two oldest (wisest) stayed home:)

It is incredible to watch all of us growing together. I am so thankful that we have been blessed with 6 little lives to guide and direct. May God give us the wisdom to guide them well and keep all of their hearts soft towards Him. I pray constantly that each of them will have the grace to forgive us too, as parents make mistakes too, who doesn't need forgiveness!

We are so very blessed, even in the hard times that I can not express the joy growing can be. It is not always easy or fun but it is good, very good, for all of us.

Remember Me

"Remember me" that is what Sam's ET father told him the last time he saw him. It has been very hard for all of us as Sam's memories are not good. How do you tell a 7 year old who doesn't speak your language that he can remember his father but he doesn't have to live in the past? Sam has shared with us some things that happened with his father even with our limited communication we knew it was not pleasant. We were blessed with a visit of some older children who moved from ET 2 years ago and when Sam began to tell a very wise 16 year old what his memories were the young man ask him to stop. He very wisely told Sam that he didn't want to hear those things and that Sam needs to focus on all the opportunities he has now and not the past. We are so grateful for his wisdom!

Yesterday was very difficult for Sam as he struggles to figure out does he follow the advice of his new friend or his father's last request. It was a long day filled with mood swings, temper tantrums, tears, and mostly confusion. He is having a better day today for which I am exceedingly grateful! I will be so pleased when we have better communication with him.

I think now, that at 7 he bears an awful burden, choices that only he can make. Will he chose to participate in our family or be sullen, depressed, moody, and angry forever? To be faced with this choices that many adults struggle with; to forgive or hold on to anger, live in the past or for the blessings of today? To us it seems clear, embrace the family that has prayed for you, loved you, and sacrificed for you. Not to make you forget your past but to give you a future! Yet I know adults who chose to hold on to all the bad not seeing that there could be so much good if only they would let go of their hurts.

Food!

Food is with out a doubt our biggest issue with Abigail. I was feeling frustrated yesterday as I offered her at least 20 things and "no Mom" was the response to all of them. But then she looks at me and says "Eat Mom?" It is frustrating after almost a month home and still not being able to find stuff she really likes. The bigger perspective; that is our biggest issue! She has attached well, is communicating effectively, and seems to be adjusting with out any major hitches. Not to mention she will let me do her hair! I am not great, and certainly not fast, but she is tolerant.

Sam has some food issues too but they are getting better. He is the complete opposite of Abby, he eats everything! At first he struggled with hoarding, over eating, and sharing (even a loaf of bread). Sam has suffered sever hunger and his reactions were nothing that we had not been prepared for thanks to a wonderful and informative conference by Kingdom Kids. We have made food available at all times and this last week Sam actually said "no" to food when it was offered to him! That is huge; we didn't expect him to trust that we would care for him and meet his needs so quickly.

In short the fact that food is our biggest issue is a blessing and an answer to the many prayers we sent up while we were waiting. They are happy for the most part and have blended pretty well with the family. There are small things to look at but they are small; not all consuming huge issues. I will continue to remind my self of these things as the familiar phrase "America food bad" is repeated for the thousandth time. :)

Communication

We have been able to communicate with Abby & Sammy more and more everyday. We have been using Amharicdictionary.com and it is proving to be an amazing tool. We are finding out about their family history and about their life in Ethiopia.

We now know that Sammy has a little brother who still lives in ET with his dad. We are now praying for him (Abraham) and his safety, not sure of what his dad plans to do with him. Sammy thinks it would be a good idea for us to go get him. We will put that in Gods hands and pray that his will be done. We also found out his leg was taken later than we thought. Sammy still remembers the surgery very vividly. He is excited about the possibility of getting a prosthetic. We have an appointment with the Shriner's in February to have him evaluated and will be advised of a timeline after that.

We also learned that Abigail graduated her first year of Karate. She would love to get into it here in the State's. She loved her little brother very much. We have not been able to find out why she was removed from the home, but she will tell us when she is ready. Every day she is using more English in her communication. We are amazed at how quickly she is picking it up!

We are looking at starting both of them in school. Our local school got together with all their teachers and councilors to put together a game plan on how to make this successful. We are thinking that we will put them in Math Class, Gym, Music, Recess, Art etc. We are thinking that it will make the transition easier, and allow them to get more exposure to learning our language without a lot of pressure.

Routine

We are finally starting to get into some kind of routine around here. It is good for everyone to know what to expect from the day ahead. Today we had a translator and Sam's desires, "I don't have enough clothes or games and when do I get my leg?" Don't you just love human nature! I have not let the kids go shopping, in an effort to keep them from getting into the mind set that they can have everything they want but they are certainly NOT without clothing! Sam alone has two drawers stuffed with pants and plenty of shirts. He collects shoes no matter the size, he has at least 8 that he has claimed as his own. It reminds me of my self and how God has granted me so many gifts and I still don't say thank you often enough. Instead I come whining for something else.

Abigail seems to be content except that we have not let her call her ET Mom. She is allowed to write but are not to sure about telephone calls just yet. It is hard to have your heart in two places at the same time! We need to be sure that she is part of our family before we foster a continued relationship with those in Ethiopia. Speaking of phone calls Sam called 911 the other day, at least they called before they showed up at the door. It only takes a minute and with 6 kids in the house it is easy to slip away. We had to explain that 911 (the prefix for any calls in Addis Ababa) calls the police in America! He hasn't done it again at least:) well not yet!

God's Sovereign Hand!

Just in case you have been wondering where we have been I will give you a recap from the last week. Rob felt yucky; not horrible just not great Saturday and Sunday. Monday his sinuses were bleeding terribly! He had sores in his mouth and was very pale, he called to get into the doctor's who recommended he should go directly to the ER. From there I found out he was in quarantine for TB. Then he was out but being run through a bunch of tests. By around 1:30 pm the doctor called to tell me Rob was bleeding from his ears and nose and covered in ulcers! I knew his sinuses where bleeding but also found out he was bleeding from his ears and developing ulcers; things had taken a serious turn for the worse. He was being admitted and just so I knew it was very serious; he was being run through a CAT scan to make sure his brain wasn't bleeding. By the way he has ITP and just in case I hadn't figured it out it could be life threatening.

I decided not to tell anyone but the oldest kids as my information had left me with a lovely picture in my head of my husband sitting in a bed with open wounds, tubes, and blood pouring from his body. And yes I kind of had a feeling things weren't great even before the doctor was so wonderfully supportive. Normally I would have been at the hospital but we have two new children who have personally experienced the loss of at least one parent. It is not highly recommend for healthy bonding to bring a child home and two weeks later go into the hospital nor is it to bring them to see their Dad who looks like a monster from the description. Needless to say I was very concerned for Rob and the kids as well.

At the hospital I (Rob) was not being given all the information they were telling Elissa. The bleeding was all internal and the external ulcers were tiny red spots. I felt OK and did not look like the monster that Elissa had been told. I was told that my immune system had identified my Platelets in my blood as the enemy. When they figured this out my Platelets were down to 2000 and they should have been around 50,000. They gave me a CAT scan to find out if I had bleeding in my brain, that was the life threatening part. Luckily there was no bleeding in my brain and they admitted me to the hospital to start treatment. I was told that if all went well I would be out by the end of the week.

After the first treatment it was not looking good. (This was Tuesday when they told Elissa that Rob was not responding to treatment and they would try the steroid drip once more before they went with more invasive treatment. As a wife and mother this is when I became truly afraid. What was going through the heads of our precious new ones? They must have so many questions that we cant answer, or even understand! Our biological children were all told and each responded in their own way fear and again questions I could not answer. I knew that God was in control but it is very hard at times to trust the driver when you are blindfolded! God's ways are often not our ways, His plans not ours. Through trials we are to drawn closer to God, through suffering we are to be made more like Christ. They are not pleasant experiences ever but "God never wastes a heartache".) Rob's platelets had only come up to 3,000 and they were expecting 20,000 before they would even consider letting him go home. He was being pumped full of steroids to shut down his immune system and allow the other treatments to work. We found out that this disease was most likely caused by the live Malaria vaccine with Quinine we were given for our trip to Ethiopia. Rob very specifically told the nurse who was giving the vaccinations that we didn't want that one because of the possible side effects, but she assured us that that it was not the live version with Quinine. So it goes, this is why we researched all the shots and side effects before we got them!

Praise be to God, Rob was released on Wednesday evening! Much earlier than expected and to our great relief! We are truly thankful to God, our church family, and our friends as I don't know how we could have managed with out the prayers and support that went up for our family. We are thankful that Rob did respond to treatment and are praying that it will not be a chronic problem. God's hand formed this family one by one and His will be done for each of us.

It is amazing how many people have tapped into this blog and we don't know many of you, so we want to leave this with you today "Though the fig tree may not blossom. Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls- Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation" Habakkuk 3:17 & 18

The sovereign part of the story is not only that God knows what he is doing but by trusting that His timing was perfect we were not in Ethiopia when all of this happened. It would have been horrible to have to put Rob on an airplane and have him taken to most likely Egypt or Italy to find a decent hospital! By trusting that God's timing to get the kids was right we were at least able to be home with family and friends to love and support us through this trial. Rest asured more trials will come and for some trials there is no happy ending on this Earth. There are no Earthly answers and no words to comfort in those times; personally today we also remember a precious life taken from us all to soon. May we all know that God has plans that we do not see and that heartaches don't have to be wasted! Grace and peace to all of you!

Loss

With the bio kids back in school and Mom unable, and unwilling, to provide the constant entertainment that 4 siblings can bring to ones life, both of the kids have begun to deal with "loss". As Americans we often think we are the answer to all these kids problems with out considering what their native land and people offered them. They have now lost their friends, language, food, sense of identity (to some extent, I will get into that more later), even the smells, and the way people drive!

Some things are funny like them wanting me to go through red lights and around the people who are clearly in our way! Others are hard and sad such as Abigail wanting to dye her hair blond and make it straight (identity). She is beautiful just the way God created her, how do you tell that to an 11 year old who barely speaks English! We have tried but I am not sure we have succeeded, I had expected the hair issues but I thought it would at least wait till she was in school!

Sam is having a hard time too, which translates into moodiness and an occasional battle of wills. Fortunately he has pick battles that are currently easy for us to win! His favorite thing to do right now is to listen to his Amharic music; this seems to put the home sickness at bay.

We did doctor's visits yesterday, it turned into an all day event. I do mean event, they both charmed everyone they came into contact with but it was a hard and long day. I ended up calling Rob to come help out. We still had to give Sam a sedative as well as get an Amharic translator. It was exhausting in every area. The up side; Sam slept till 7 am, a new record! Every cloud has a silver lining right!